Dear Readers,
This is Part 2 of our 6-part series. Wayne and I have never met, but we share a common bond. We love Jesus. Wayne seems to be genuinely seeking the Lord. Please pray for Wayne, brothers and sisters. From the tone of his letter it seems he needs all the love and support he can get. I pray that the Lord will be allowed by Wayne to continue his transformation. The Lord can transform anyone, but we must accept His love and salvation with our whole heart. May God Bless and Keep You.
Love In Christ, Randall
[ The following is a testimony submitted with permission from Wayne Boulier Jr. (34 yrs old) ]
I was born in New Britain Connecticut, on July 14th, 1980. Although I was raised in a home where both of my parents worked full time and made a middle class income, my family structure was plagued by alcoholism and violence. I honestly cannot remember one constructive conversation in our home that didn’t consist of yelling, screaming, and overall negativity. There has never been a doubt in my mind of the fact that that my parents loved me and my younger sister, as well as each other. Just the ways that love was expressed always left everybody questioning the sincerity of the love.
I was baptized in the Catholic church when I was an infant and was enrolled into catechism classes by my mother at age 5. I went on to make my first communion as well as my first confession at age 6. My entire life, I have been well versed at the stories of the Bible as well as many of the teachings of Jesus Christ. As I got a little older, my path of life steered me away from church and from following the path, that deep down inside, I always knew Christ wanted me to take. I began drinking and using drugs. I began to use the phrase “If God was real, and He really loved us, do you think He would let the world live like we do?”, and other statements that, as I look back now, were just excuses for me to live the way I wanted to live and not the way God wanted me to live. The more I seemed to lose myself to the lifestyle I was living, the more it seemed that I was pushing God away from me.
I began getting into trouble when I was 14 years old. It progressed from mischievous adolescent behaviors, to absolute criminal deviancy. I began to steal to support my use and abuse of drugs and alcohol, and began to handle every single confrontation in my life by resorting to violence. I experienced incarceration for the first time when I was 14 years old. Over the next 19 years of my life, I was in and out of prisons and institutions because of the life that I chose to live. Over the years, I have experienced the loss of many important relationships in my life, as well as allowing the path I chose to lead me into a vicious cycle of pain and disappointment.
In the spring of 2013, I found myself at the height of the insane lifestyle that I was living. I was arrested on federal weapons charges, and had a minimum mandatory sentence of 15 years of incarceration thrown at me. How could I have let my life come to this? How could I have continued to take the path that time after time proved to be detrimental to my quality of life? How could I continue to allow myself to fail time and time again, when all my life I have known that the answers were all right there for me in the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I simply couldn’t deny it anymore, that “my way” wasn’t working. I couldn’t deny any longer that I had to let go and let God take control.
I found a Bible and I began to pray. I asked God to come into my life and show me the way. I asked God for his help to get on the right path, so I could stop living selfishly and to become the man that I’ve always known deep down inside that I’m capable of being. I asked God to look over my children and the rest of my family and to help me to be the best man I can be for them.
Through prayer, I started to open up dialog with God and to truly tell him what was in my heart. I still had questions and my faith in the Lord was still weak because of those unanswered questions and doubts. Almost at exactly the right time, I was transferred to a different correctional facility, to a place that offered a small Bible study group. I began to attend the weekly group, where I didn’t hesitate to ask the questions that I had about the Bible and the word of God. The gentleman who led the group, as well as the other three guys that came with him weekly, all offered great insight – not through their own opinions, but through The Word of God. The group gave a lot of focus to the “Roman’ s Road” structure of teaching the Bible, which states clearly that only through Christ, and His Word and way, can man reach his Father in Heaven. I finally realized what I needed to do to be saved, from not only the earthly hell that “my way” of life had left me in, but to be safe and secure in the arms of God after this life is over. I went back to my cell after group one night and I prayed to God. I told God that I am a sinner and that my sins are the reason that my life has been one disappointment after another – not only to myself and my family, but more importantly to Him. I asked God to forgive me for my sins, and to help me to recognize all of my sins before I make them anymore. I admitted that “my way” doesn’t work, and asked Him to show me His way.
I am still incarcerated (on the same weapons charge), but to be honest with you, I have never felt more “free” in my life. I continue to study the Word of God, and when faced with any difficult decisions, I turn to God and His Word for guidance. Asking God to come into my life and doing my best to live “His way”, my life has seemed to go only in a better direction. No matter how tough life seems to get, I’m certain of one thing… With God in my life, I can make it through anything. My father recently committed suicide, and I’ve been having a really hard time dealing with many of the emotions and choices associated with that. I find that no matter how heavy of a burden that seems to put on me, when I sit and pray to God for his help to comfort me and for his help for me to understand, it all seems to be lifted right off my chest. If it wasn’t for my new found relationship with God, I truly believe that what I’m currently going through, with the loss of my father, would without a doubt break me down, but with God’s help and comfort through this, it’s only making me a stronger Christian, and overall better man.
GOD IS GOOD ! ! !
Written by Wayne Boulier Jr.
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