Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.“
Dear Readers: I do not write about my children. That is because I have tried to keep them protected from those who hate me. I have done my best to shelter my family from the spotlight. It is important to me, however, to share my experience with the world. I have a son and daughters that I love very, very much. They have always been and forever will be my heart and soul. In 2011-2012, my family and I became homeless. We were forced to live in a shelter. For the first time in my life I could not provide for them. We were destitute. On more than one occasion, we ate watered-down soup. I went without meals so that the kids could eat. We had been struggling for a couple years. I was working odd jobs wherever I could find them. From time to time, I did things I am not proud of to make ends meet. I did everything that I thought I could to keep from being a criminal. When we landed in that shelter, I became desperate. On top of being homeless, we lost our car. I had not yet accepted the Lord. Thus, I did not possess the mind I have now. So, when I was offered a chance to make some quick money, I took it. My intentions were pure and even noble in my own mind. I did the wrong things for the right reasons. I am not guilty of the crimes I have been wrongfully convicted of. I am not a murderer. No matter how desperate I was, I would never kill anyone for any reason. As a father, my children are precious to me and thus, I know how precious someone else’s children are to them. Though I am not guilty, the company I chose to keep and the poor decisions I made to feed my family landed me in my current predicament. Sadly, my family is even worse off. My situation has devastated them. The mother of my two youngest has suffered a breakdown. She is no longer able to care for them. She is currently not stable. She has no family to speak of. My mother is sickly. Thus, there is no one to care for my children. 
They are in state custody and if I cannot find someone to care for them soon, then they will be put up for adoption. The prospect of losing my children forever has been very hard on me. I thank God for His strength. For without it, I would surely be lost.
The choices we make affect more than just ourselves. They create a ripple effect which can be far reaching and long lasting. The seeds we sow today may be reaped for many years to come. When we don’t have Jesus in our hearts, we are not in our right minds. Our actions are right and just in our minds and that is a weakness. My parents are Christians. I grew up in church. That is why my conscience plagued me when I was living a sinful life. The Lord is our check and balance. Only when we choose not to follow Him do we fall. It has always been my great hope to overcome this great injustice that has been done to me and return to my family. Though my situation is grim, I still have the utmost faith in my Lord. As long as I am away from my family, I will struggle with pain and torment. But with the help of the Lord, I will soldier on.
I have never asked you to pray for my family, folks. But, I am asking you to now. Please pray, my brothers and sisters, for my children. Please pray for the children and families of the victims in my case. For they are all innocent victims. Likewise, I would ask you to pray for my co-defendant and his family as well. His family are also innocent victims. And, though his awful actions caused so much pain and destruction, he deserves the love of the Lord. It has taken me a long time, but I forgive him for what he has done to us all. I pray God’s mercy be upon him.
Brothers and sisters, be careful of your actions. Beware whom you associate with. Heed the words of Proverbs 23:6-7 [Do not eat the bread of a miser, Nor desire his delicacies; For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.] Be conscious of the ripple effect. Praise God for His salvation. For even though I have made mistakes, my Lord still loves me and he has given me the gift of eternal life. Amen!
I leave you with this: Ephesians 3:17-21 That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
To my dear children, if you are reading this – – Please know that your daddy loves you more than words.
May God bless and keep you! May you include Him in all your choices! May you avoid being made guilty by association. May God’s mercy endure forever!
Love In Christ,
Randall